Day 9

motivation puppy Our first entire week is completed in the challenge (our weeks are 8 days long).  A few of us are maintaining perfect scores, while others have lost a point here or there (on purpose or completely by accident) with some eating indiscretions.  My cravings were intense in the eating arena the first few days, seeming to be exceptionally ugly when I am tired or I’ve gone too long without eating.  I’m not gunna lie – I have wanted a bag of chips like it’s nobody’s business – and I may have to give up my allowable potato serving soon so that I can fulfill my tummies desire, but that tantrum that my belly sometimes throws hasn’t been too unyielding that I have felt the need to cave in.

Motivation: My Mac defines motivation as: the general desire or willingness of someone to do something; the reason or reasons on has for acting or behaving in a particular way.  Well, thank you Mac.  My initial motivation to participate in this challenge really didn’t have anything to do with winning or competition.  We don’t win any prize or collect any money for participating and challenging ourselves as set out by our rules.  A charity will nab a little cash from all of us at the end – but the only thing the participants get is what we put in it.  The potential finishers may get the satisfaction that we completed it, we tried something new, we tamed a bad habit, potentially learned a different way to eat, set a new PR (or PRs), and did this all with 17 other people (as in we didn’t do this to ourselves, we are all mostly willing participants).  Some of us will carry these new habits on, and some of us will undoubtedly revert back to our old habits immediately.  In all honesty I know that I will not eat this way forever, but it has definitely opened my eyes to what I am consuming and how much sugar is in the things I would normally eat.  The grocery store is an eye opening experience when scrutinizing every thing I put in the basket!  After the challenge I will allow myself grains (in the way of sushi and Pho!), I will allow myself dairy (remember how much I love ice cream?) and I will allow myself potatoes (in the form of mashed, baked, and chipped).

My motivation to continue through these food cravings and athletic challenges is simply to see this challenge through.  This is a challenge for me to use my willpower to NOT eat anything I see and to not eat it in its entirety.  I’m reconditioning myself simply by seeing this to the end.  It’s creating more mindfulness around the food I eat – as I am eating it for it’s fuel points and not purely on it’s oh my god that looks delicious, I’m super tired, I worked out so I can eat that…..etc.  I know some of you have had those very thoughts.  There are also things I’d like to witness coming out of this challenge.  I’m curious if it will impact my lifting of heavy things, positively or negatively.  I’m curious if my body composition will change in any way….I would like to see more definition in the muscles I’m attempting to build.  My little pain in the ass voice in my head needs to also tell you that I’m curious if I’ve lost any weight – but I REFUSE to get on the scale (I have taken pictures though – and I may or may not post them).  I’m curious if I can make time to move my body mindfully every day, as our challenge dictates.  I’m curious if we are spending more or less money on groceries versus eating out.  I’m also curious to see if all of the participants will make it through.

If I accept a challenge it is in my nature to keep my word and see it through, no matter how big or small.  Sure, there have been challenges that I have accepted and been unable to fulfill, I am human and prone to error – but I don’t give up easily, and if I do it’s because I am not attached to the challenge or the outcome.  I am attached to this and its ultimate outcome while practicing healthy detachment so as to not beat myself up or create negative energy around any expectation of what the outcome may be.  When expectation is created, disappointment can follow, and certainly failures.  You may or may not agree with me on this point – but could you go for 8 days without your vice?  That vice be alcohol, sugar, getting on the scale, coffee, something you MUST do everyday without fail or your world would just crumble to pieces?  Can you seriously?  If you answered no, ask yourself why?

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The negative energy and judgements that surround challenges like this astound me.  How many times do you hear these? – I could never give up alcohol.  I could never give up sugar.  I could never give up pasta, bread, potatoes…………The list goes on and on.  Why would you set your mind to do something and not see it through?  Maybe because the mind was never set in the first place.  Or why do you feel the need to get all up in my business?  (Maybe because I’m posting it all over the interwebs?  Yeah, got me there.)  Maybe it’s just me.  My guess is if the energy surrounding these types of challenges changes to that of openness and acceptance (I mean no one’s harming small children or puppies to my knowledge for Pete’s sake) then exciting and enticing drama may just in fact go away.  Novel idea, eh?

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That being said – Today’s total?  A solid 10.

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