Attaching expectations to a supposed outcome can involve navigating some dangerous territory. Expectations: a strong assumption that something will happen…in the future. Assumption: something is accepted as truth or certainty without proof. Right there we could get in to a nice discussion about how the definitions are much more involved than the words alone.
Think about how much pressure we could take off our shoulders if we let go of the expectations we have – especially when it deals with other people in our lives. To be able to enter in to conversations without the expectation that your friend will react or respond in a specific way. Desiring these outcomes is actually a great mirror in to our own life. If we take the opportunity to look, and really see, ourselves in this mirror we can look into what our own expectations of ourselves actually are…they aren’t of that other person at all. That’s not our responsibility.
What do we do with the unexpected now that we aren’t expecting it in the first place? Roll with it, be present in that moment. My personal practice is to not take it personally when things don’t go the way I thought they may. It’s a difficult practice to let go of this ego response because it had nothing to do with me in the first place, right? Why make it about me when their responses are actually projections of them? Then I’ve created more energy in to that circle of attaching expectations, not seeing myself, blah blah blah. (See, dangerous territory, right!?) By taking responsibility for me I have let go of those attached expectations – WIN! (We won’t even go in to the process of how to begin to do this other than to say, be like Nike and just fucking do it.)
Here’s my proposition: If you want to know something, ask! Assuming you know the answer only puts you in that little shark infested pond on a small ass island of steak. We’d have so much less D.R.A.M.A in the world if we would just communicate in a from the heart and honest way. Take responsibility for your own feelings, actions, thoughts – they’re already yours.
Let’s take this challenge for example. I have consciously and subconsciously placed expectations not only on myself but on the other participants. Those that I have placed on my own outcome I have had to really get real with and not allow disappointment or judgement to creep in – take ownership for my own thoughts and actions, right? I’m a conscious being that is capable of making my own decisions and must own the decision I made to have grain last night and loose a point – for example. Now, my expectations of the other’s in this challenge are not my expectations to make – AT ALL. They can do as they wish and it’s not my place to even think or judge that they should act in a certain way.
What have you wanted to know, but have never asked?
Today’s Total: 10